This Can’t Be Real….

Hi guys I know I have not been blogging for quite a while now. I have been preoccupied with school and a more serious matter. Lately, my vision has gotten worse that it is hard for me to see the whiteboard in class. I would write down 19 instead of 21, odd isn’t it? Those two numbers do not even look alike. In addition, I also have these terrible and painful daily headaches, white flashes, numbing of my lower legs, dizziness, odd hearing patterns. I didn’t know what it was and stupidly set it aside.

I went on with my life and worried more about my vision, so I called around to a few optometry places and realized that Costco was cheaper to go to for a routine eye exam. I have Kaiser, but I am not due for another eye check up until next year. I have double vision coverage. I am not sure how it works though…Anyway, at Costco, I was greeted by a very monotonous receptionist and a new optometrist that I have not met before…She ran the tests to see how much my RX changed—both of my eyes are in need of a higher RX. She then asked me about medications that I had been taking and why I was taking them. I told her that I had been taking Advil (Ibuprofen) for the past two months or so to ease my daily headaches. I did not tell her about my arm because I forgot, but she then went on to dilate my eyes to see inside. What she found has changed my life completely…I had err…have what she calls Bilateral Papilledema, which translates into swollen optic nerves. I knew there was something that was wrong when she kept saying, “hmmm” over and over again. I have been to the optometrist many times to know that something was just not right.

Before I left, I brought Long into the office with me so that she would be able to explain to both of us, in case I missed anything and also so that I would not have to explain it to him. Among the things she told us, she insisted that I see an ophthalmologist immediately. She also assured me that it was not something that would kill me or anything. After that I felt safe that it was really nothing and did no research that night on Bilateral Papilledema. Little did I know that this was a more serious matter.

The next morning, I called Kaiser’s Ophthalmology department, explained to the receptionist what my optometrist had informed me in detail and explained all of my symptoms. They admitted me in that very same day with an appointment to see my Ophthalmologist. The assistant seated me in a chair and ran more eye exams (vision), then the doctor came in to dilate my eyes. After my eyes were dilated he looked inside them, sent me to have the inside of my eyes photographed and to check my peripheral vision in more detail. Both exams took a while, but the one that was more painful was the eye photography—the bright light nearly blinded me and I was crying up a storm. This entire time I did not have any idea what was going on. The doctor and his colleagues did not know either. They said that the symptoms I was having did not fit the profile due to my young age and health. This worried me. I just kept thinking of my mom. She has schizophrenia and Type II diabetes, so it is highly likely that I will develop her condition as well. That night I went home after an argument with Long because he was, “being a jackass” (his words) because I ruined his plans. He likes to run on a schedule and anytime the schedule gets altered without significant notice he freaks out and is a grouch. Well, that night I received a call from my ophthalmologist informing me that I should go in for a CT scan of my brain to further find the cause of my swollen optic nerves. Once I was called to go in to get the scan at Radiology (Long waited outside), I was quite nervous. The technician told me to close my eyes, but I felt like I was going through a nervous break down. I was in a gigantic “donut” getting scanned with radiation. The warm beams did not ease my distress either. I was highly relieved when it was all done. Now, we just played the waiting game.

In the meantime, Long and I did much internet research of Bilateral Papilledema aka swollen optic nerves. Top hits came back for Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Diabetes and tumors. It was also a possibility that it was just nothing and that the symptoms would go away. But, we were thinking that it had to do with MS. It was confirmed later that night when I got a call from my doctor that I have a brain tumor about 4 cm in size. It is right in the center of the frontal lobe. Even as I am writing this, it still does not seem real…I can’t grasp the idea that after all I have been through, taking care of my health by eating healthy, getting routine doctor visits and avoiding dirty areas/people, I somehow managed to form a tumor in my brain.

I am scheduled to see the Neurologist on Monday the 19th at 10:45 AM in Redwood City to discuss my diagnosis and treatment options. I will update you further on this.